A short story by Paul H 😁

NEV Tour Mallorca

So the 2023 Summer Cycling Season kicked off this year with a trip out to Mallorca for 9 NEV members. The group was of mixed abilities from the touring speed set by our own Marisa Swain, to the athletic Mountain GOAT in the shape of Paul Jerram who zipped up the hills like a rat up a drain pipe.

We all stayed in the Zafira Tropic in Alcudia, situated on the coast nestled beneath the Northern Mountains close to the old town of Pollenca. Supported by the tour organisers Ciclos Major. We were collected at the airport before being transferred to our home for the following days. Tony was still love sick and pining as he had met the love of his life at Stansted, the new romance blossomed in such a short time. Once at the hotel we found our rooms settling into our new surroundings, before we began to rebuild or collect our hire bikes. For those in need of help Ciclos Major had a mechanic on site to assist with any and all mechanical issues.

The food at the hotel was excellent catering for all dietary requirements, with an enormous selection of meals to meet the tastes of all including the Grandfather of the group Tony Wood who ensures that his plate is always full of various shades of beige. For those wanting something a little more upmarket there was the Zafira Palace.

Over the course of the holiday the NEV team were 8 strong at times, and we took the rather brave decision to let Luke Nash lead the rides, rather than join one of the Ciclos Major organised routes, led by some excellent, considerate and customer focused guides. As ever with Nashy at the front it was a magical mystery tour if not entertaining. The major fly in the ointment for Luke was the fact that on the day his beloved Tottenham were playing, he wanted to be back on time to see the game. Alas Paul Hooks decided he needed some work done on his bike, this lack of planning scuppered the early start. However, this meant Luke avoided having to watch a 6-0 defeat for Spurs. We aren’t sure that Luke will let this one go in a hurry … sorry Luke!!!

Dragging the team around, taking more than his fair share of turns at the front, and often to be found leading others astray in the post ride debriefs at the seafront bar was Nick Latchford. He did also recruit Luke to assist him in his endeavours on occasions, and together on one particular evening they accosted a rather naive, unsuspecting Paul Jerram who was later found in a rather wobbly condition after sensibly deciding to walk back from the bar to the hotel as opposed to using his rather dirty and unwashed but trusty two wheeled steed. Nick did highlight the need for some TLC on Paul’s bike and suggested an investment in some new cycling shoes might improve the aesthetics for his awesome cycling skills.

Soon there were four. The remainers had decided to sign up for the Mallorca 312, this is a long standing event which originally circumnavigated the island. Now though it hugs the coast of the Northern Mallorca Mountains from the Eastern side of the cycling paradise before returning along a more undulating path back. Tony, John, Paul and Stu planned to undertake to full 312km route, but understood that failing to make the cut offs could result in being forced onto the 225km or 167km circuits.

There were some dubious views on Stu’s ability to complete the route as his training consisted of a ride out to Sa Calobra on the Tuesday before the big day. To everyone’s pleasant surprise Stu smashed out the 167km route. Tony, John and Paul managed the 225km route on what turned out to be a very hot day. It was a mere 23 degrees in the shade, but supported by Pete Ski who was out in Mallorca and the Ciclos Major team, suppling food and drinks, as well as fixing Grandad Tony’s wonky saddle. The course was unrelenting and the excessive heat added to the immense challenge. That said there are rumours that some riders might be back to tackle some unfinished business in 2024 (27th April to be precise). There are some new interested contenders who are also keen to join the fun for the Mallorca 312. John Markham is suggesting that he doesn’t have anything else to prove, as so will be part of the support team … this is a position that we are working on.

NEV are keen to take more out next year and will soon be looking at dates for 2024. There are options to go out for a few days, a week or even longer. If you think you might be interested please speak to Luke, Ian, Nick, Tony, Stu, Marisa or one of the Paul’s. Whether you are interested in 25-30 miles with lots of coffee stops or fancy tackling 100 milers at 19+ average there is something for everyone.

Thanks for that very detailed write up Paul ,